The struggle of an artist

I've really been struggling with my work and the directions that i want it to go. i feel that the fact that I'm not employed full time, i should be making work non stop, but I'm not, and i feel horrible about it. i just don't feel very creative, and its not that i m burnt out, because i haven't really made anything that substantial for awhile. maybe its just me be to hard on myself, i need something to ignite that spark again, this is all i want to do, and i feel now is make or break time, i need to paint, to create, to have that run down feeling when you've been up for four days working on a painting only to wipe it all away and start over, i need that, and i don't have it right now. while I'm damn proud of the work that i made earlier this year, i just dont feel like that says who i am as an artist, I'm not sure what would say that. i have tons of ideas and maybe it just a matter of making every single thought that i have for a piece of work until i find what  is gonna fill that hole that i have.